Friday, August 8, 2008

spelled just like escape

I've been wanting to hide lately. It's weird, but it takes a long time to realize when your own behavior isn't normal for you, especially when stress and life changes cause major upheaval around you. The dust has been settling and I can finally look around and...where am I? Not where I should be.

Paul's been encouraging me to knit more, which is much easier to do with movies in the evenings. He wonders why I can't just sit quietly and knit, even though I've explained it to him several times. It's not like a book, which engages your whole attention because you have to look at it while your mind is going. Even then I get easily distracted by the cat and other noises around me.

Here's my way: If I'm doing something with my hands, like simple knitting, my eyes and mind need something else to do. That means watching a movie or talking with someone as I occasionally glance down at my (boring) project. It also means I can't just knit while Paul reads, or else I talk to him and he can't read. Drives him nuts. If I'm working on a complicated project which requires my eyes as well as my hands, listening to something interesting is the best way to go. Then I'll want to "watch" something familiar or just chat.

I'm pretty excited about the Ravelympics! Well, not right now, because I haven't even gotten to cast on yet (I know, nearly 5 hours behind already). I keeps wondering if those Ravthletes who are competing with 10 projects have jobs?? have commitments?! sleep??? I wanted to commit to so many cool projects, but last night I decided not to add any more. I work full-time and half of my commute is walking. Paul & I have plans all day tomorrow and the following weekend. I don't exactly have copious amounts of extra time. But I sure wish I did.

Ah, burnout. I would be upset but I have no energy left for that.

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